I know… i promised that one day I’m going to write 4 pages only about food, but I have to disappoint you: Today is NOT that day! Instead I will tell you about my Tuesday. For those of you who are really very disappointed now, I had a sandwich for lunch and a pizza in the evening (no smoothie bowl*sorry*)
So my Tuesday was somehow a hard day, some really not that important people told me little not so nice things and I don’t know why, but I ended up, sitting at 5 p.m. on a bus stop bench, almost crying. In order to not get recognised by people I pretended to yawn, every time a tear spread in my eye- so what should I say, people looked at me as if I had not slept for the past 10 years… Crying would have been much more embarrassing though. Wouldn’t it?
Back in University (university for primary school teachers) a Psychology – Prof once gave us the task to imagine ourselves as a fruit and put us into groups.- I know, Psychology courses… However at first I didn’t take that too serious until I realised that everybody knew exactly to which group he or she belonged. There were bananas, grapes and a pineapple which stayed with the apples in one big basket. When the prof turned to me, asking where I belong, I only could answer that I m a strawberry jumping from one basket to the next one. She smiled at me and answered that this is exactly how she sees me. As a person who gets along everywhere and with everyone somehow. I know – this is a compliment and I don’t like it if people put things into baskets or categories anyways, but somedays, I feel lonely because of that. I simply don’t know where I belong to.
However, yesterday I felt like I’m in the urgent need for a „I feel really sorry for myself“ cry session. And yes, I’m very well aware that there are bigger problems in this world, starting from hunger, wars, our planet slowly going to die, not even want to start about Trump and so on. But what should I say?- There are days where I feel like within all this- I am definitely the poorest soul here on earth… 😉
Anyways, I really was looking forward to just get home, crawl under my bed blanket and cry my heart out- since this is always a good release of pressure. BUT – and here is the thing – I’ve just moved back to my parents for another 3 months now- so I was NOT alone. There was not much to do but swallow my self sorrow tears. I chose to do one other thing that is always a big release:
Lucky me, Sean Koch was in Innsbruck last night and what should I say: Even if you feel like you are the most lonesome rider (without a car) on this earth, you always feel a bit more „together“ if you have great music and a dance-floor (even if it was 20 sq.cm in my case). In addition to that I met some really heartful people and I realised that what connects us all, are the many questions which we share.
And above all the one: Am I enough?
However, I do what I do and sing along while I’m doing it, hoping for the world to show me my spot on earth. And if there are many baskets that I have to discover, my life will be very colourful and fruity.
Lots of love. Vera Vis.
P.S. Haven’t cried last night anymore.